Emotional Upheaval


September 16, 2018

In general, I am not very emotional. If I feel the need to cry I will watch a movie that will trigger that type of reaction (It’s a Wonderful Life, Field of Dreams, Homeward Bound and the like). I did not cry when I broke both my arms at the same time in the mid-’90s although my movement was severely impaired. When I was wheeled into the ER three weeks ago, I was pretty calm even though I was sure as to what was happening to me. Later that night I lost it. The Neuropsychologist I am seeing said to both of us that the chemical changes in my brain could cause emotionality. Where I have noticed a difference is when I read something from one of my past students or watch something that is sad (or happy for that matter). I’m not talking light tears but body shaking emotions (No one should cry at every Harry Potter movie I’m on movie six right now….Cedric getting killed sent me over the edge. Am I suggesting that I don’t want sentimental cards or want to avoid situations that sort? No, not at all. Honestly, I think it’s all helped me cope with a very challenging situation. As of now my left hand and arm do not work. I am able to walk awkwardly with a cane but I’m being sent home on Saturday with a wheelchair and at this moment not to take a step unless there is a therapist at the house. I will have a new normal. I’m chronicling this entire journey for my sake mostly, but If I can encourage people through the process, then most of it will be worth it. #serioussometimes

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